Written by Lightning Conductor

Friday, 27 March 2009

image for G20 - Special Interview with Met Comissioner Brian Panzer
Special escort group arguing as to who looks like "Poncherello" from Chips?

Metropolitan Police Chief Brian Panzer gave me a special interview today about his plans for Policing the G20 summit in London next week.

"The bankers are wasting their time dressing down on the big day," grinned the burly Met Commander.

"The global anarchists have changed tactics according to MI5," he winked, all knowingly.

"They've come up with a brilliant idea in a bid to counter this attempt to blend in with the public."

"We've heard that the Tree huggers, will be arriving in Pin Stripes, suited and booted!"

"This'll allow them to gain entry to buildings where security guards will probably let them all in as they look the part and will have flashed a Nectar or Oyster card at them!

"Normal staff will probably be beaten back viciously, missing out on a days work and their free lunch in the restaurant".

"Down at Wood Street Nick we'll all be pissing ourselves watching the madness on our CCTV" roared the Police Titan laughing into his Guinness.

"Can you imagine the chaos?" He grinned as he described in graphic detail the problems that will be faced by an Acorn picker from Devon trying to trade futures and derivatives!

"Can you picture a member of a juggling co-operative failing miserably at hedging and shorting? snorted the monocled law and order boss.

"Can you see?" He stopped to giggle like a loon. "Can you see a Director of a Bank knowing what to do with a Molotov cocktail?"

"Oh!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air. "It's going to be a riot!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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