In a shock move the government has announced that D Day veterans were to get lottery money. Once the weekly draw is made the money will be siphoned off and given to the old codgers in exchange for votes.
In a controversial move the veterans will not have to purchase lottery tickets. This has upset some people who have nothing else to moan about.
One such person is Maureen Spiggott, of Luton: "I buy my ticket every week. Just because they fought and suffered they think that they can have something for nothing. Well they cannot. Decent, honest people are not going to stand for it. And neither am I."
Other people have welcomed the decision. Hazley Smears, a government spokesperson, said that she had a letter from someone known only as 'John'. She read the letter out. "Dear Southern softie politician, I think you should give the old soldiers some cash. Yours John Pressedtwat. P.S. I wrote the letter can I have my pie now?
So the government is hoping that the veterans will all vote for them at the next election. Somebody should tell the government that this lot may be old, but they are not stupid.