AP Pro: Great Britain, a nation who's past colonial history should leave it's citizen's in good stead when understanding the ways of attention seeking foreigners and mudbloods, is tonight in the grip of fear.
Having been snubbed by doomed Goody (b.1981, d.2009), the evil Shilpa Sheppey (69) has finally let her mask slip and as she was dragged spitting, kicking and screaming to her pyre, furiously revealed her dark brown secret...Jade's cancer is the result of a vile witch's CURSE.
In view of the risk Jade's soon-to-be corpse may therefore re-animate upon it's longed for death, the government taskforce COBRA have held emergency talks in preparation of a possible impending Jade caused zombie holocaust.
More news should any of us see the night through. May sweet Myra Hindley have mercy on our souls.
