Jack Tweed, the newly married/soon to be widowed beau of attention seeking cancer patient and racist Jade Goody, has this afternoon announced plans from his mother's 'box room' to promote himself/cancer.
In a bizarre monotonal unfeeling voice, creepy Tweedy explained his passion and intent in gaining even more reflected glory for his very own deeply personal cause.
"As someone 16 year olds have had to look upto whilst I've been brandishing a golf club, I truly believe I have the kind of personality that attracts attention like cancer."
In response to this self serving statement, a Mark Croft from Skankchester reputedly called Tweed shouting down the phone "Ere you, I want what you got, I want it all. That Kerry's forgot who I am", said the slack jawed taxi driver.