Sit Alan Sugar has told how he prefers money to sex. "These days when I put my hands in my pocket the only thing I feel is small change. My knob's so small and shrivelled I just can't get a good grip on it anymore."
Sir Alan has been a successful businessman and now with the Apprentice he is a well established media figure. But despite this, money is still tops for him. This is something the contestants on the Apprentice need to be aware of. It's no good offering Sir Alan a piece of your ass, when £5 will get you further.
Several women have come forward to tell how the tycoon would take baths in £50 notes, and how he used to crack one off over the Financial Times. Footsie has an entirely different meaning to Sir Alan.
Last night Sir Alan was arrested whilst sticking £10 notes up his arse shouting "I'm a money box."
