Written by Hugh Plonnka

Wednesday, 13 June 2007

image for Sir Alan Defends Interview Techniques
I'm your Sugar daddy

London, Wednesday - Ahead of tonight's final of "The Apprentice" airing on BBC1 at 9pm, Sir Alan Sugar has spoken out against the critics of his and his associates' interview approach.

"Let's get one thing straight," the straight-talking Londoner who has never been accused of mincing his words said. "Katie Hopkins wanted to be crowned The Apprentice, but she never wanted the job. That was apparent from her demeanour when I told her she was in the final."

Hopkins' cheeks went a bright red colour, and red patches on her neck appeared as Sugar told her she was proceeding to the final.

"This has got absolutely nothing to do with her family. If she wants her parents bringing her kids up while she shags for England, as far as I'm concerned, that's HER business.

"But when I saw her face go that awful patchy red colour, and her neck... I couldn't give a fig whether I missed out on a great BJ or not, she had to go."

Hopkins, labelled a "transvestite Mr Punch" by one tabloid, allegedly offered Sugar "the BJ of your life" if he put her in the final.

Viewers were surprised when two of Sir Alan's closest associates suggested that Kristina Grimes and Simon Ambrose, who are competing in tonight's final, were the most appropriate for the role.

"Paul (Kensley) got a BJ off her and said I should put her through, but like I said, with that face, I just couldn't go through with it."

Later in the day, fellow contestant Lohit Kalburgi said Sir Alan had made the right decision. "Paul (Callaghan, another contestant) said the BJ I gave him was 'ten times better' than the one he got off Katie, so as far as I'm concerned, Sir Alan was right to let her go."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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