End Poverty Now Says Rich Bloke

Written by Earl Grey

Monday, 9 March 2009


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It's a Rat Trap

A rich bloke gave a speech today to other rich blokes. He told them that they should end poverty now. And they all agreed that he was a fantastic bloke.

The man in question was none other than Bob Gandalf, former lead singer of the Boomtown Twats and creator of Lemon Aid. During his speech Gandalf said "Just give us....them....your fucking money. Fucking money". He repeated this frequently.

Gandalf is concerned with the plight of the world poor, the spread of global conflict and the fact that he hasn't had a hit single in decades. He is getting desperate. Also he is worried about his daughter Kiwi Fruit, who has yet to make a charity record. An insider said "Bob's really worried. Kiwi needs to do something quick or she will never meet important people like the President of USA, the British Prime Minister, the Pope or Bono".

As the Boomtown Twats put it, when washed up Punks with stacks of money make a speech "I don't like Mondays".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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