"One-eyed, Scottish idiot" closes BBC forever

Funny story written by IN SEINE

Saturday, 7 February 2009

image for "One-eyed, Scottish idiot" closes BBC forever
For Sale?

Gordon Brown is a man on the edge! Following Jeremy Clarkson's jibe in Australia, the Prime Minister is considering closing the BBC (Brown's Broadcasting Company) for good; because all it is showing are negative images of the Government - i.e. redundancies, repossessions, bailouts, Freudian slips, Boris Johnston quips, repeats of 'Allo Allo' and the most depressing soap opera of all time, 'Eastenders'.

From His Downing Street home, Mr. Brown told In Seine News;

"I have had enough! I cannot bear to turn the television on because there is so much bad news - everything is going wrong. If it's not half an hour spent reporting on half an inch of snow, it's reports of Global recession and now valuable airtime is being used saying "sorry" for Presenters behavioural problems; only recently Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand were suspended for gaffes made on programmes; Carol Thatcher has had to apologise; and now it's that high-octane twirp, Jeremy Clarkson trying to pick a fight with me - He should do the whole country a favour and stay down-under! (although, I have to admit He did wonders for car sales and perhaps that is why they are not doing so well now.)"

"The good news for the licence-payer is that it's going to be abolished and they will no longer have to put up with paying £150 a year. The current presenters have already got jobs with other TV channels, so there will be no jobs lost; in fact I think it will quickly kick-start the economy and the 'green shoots of recovery' will emerge in the spring." He said.

The BBC TV studios will be sold to make way for an Olympic Stadium.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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