Roundabout hell

Funny story written by IainB

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

image for Roundabout hell
The complicated roundabout at Canvey Island

The British Government are looking into changing the rules for drivers on British roads in the wake of a tragic accident in Rotherham.

Minnie Cooper, a 57 year old spinster from Sheffield dehydrated and died on the scene whilst waiting to join the M1. Eye witness Harry Cary saw the start and the end of this tragic story.

"I was on my way to work at BHS in Meadowhall, and I saw her Micra waiting to join the roundabout. At first I thought she'd broken down, but as we all shuffled around her onto the roundabout it was clear that she didn't know how roundabouts worked, and was completely flummoxed. She was still there when I went home ten hours later. She didn't look well, so when I got home I rang the police. If we were allowed to use mobiles in the car, she might still be alive."

Police pieced together the whole story from interviewing regular users of the roundabout, her grieving family and looking at CCTV.

"She's always had a problem with roundabouts, apparently," said Detective Inspector Phil Inns. "She didn't understand that you give way to the right. Even with hundreds of cars manoeuvring around her and joining she still didn't understand. It's quite a busy roundabout, and every time she saw a car at another entrance to the roundabout, she gave way to them, regardless of where they were. She almost set off at quarter past one, but unfortunately stalled."

Steven Ladyman, Transport Minister was not surprised at the news. "I'm afraid this is more common than you may think," he told the House. "Roundabouts may seem simple, but so many people just don't get them. 95% of all road traffic accidents happen on roundabouts when somebody doesn't give way when they should. It's most common on mini-roundabouts. A friend of mine believed it was the fastest travelling car that had right of way!"

The Ministry of Transport are set to introduce new guidelines to force everybody to retake their driving test if they are caught "not understanding the simple things".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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