Written by Skoob1999

Sunday, 9 November 2008

image for Survivalist Found In Bad Way
Rotisserie In Easier Times Up Mount Everest Last Week

Top TV Survivalist Grizzly Rotisserie was rushed to Homerton Hospital, Hackney in the early hours of this morning after being found slumped in a Well Street shop doorway suffering from malnutrition, dehydration, delerium, and chapped lips.

Rotissserie, 29, of the Isle Of Wight was said to have become seperated from his camera crew in the east London borough, leaving him exposed and vulnerable, despite his superhuman survival skills.

A Met Police spokesman described how Rotisserie had probably got lost among a wasteland of railway lines and tower blocks because he had misread his A to Z, and that a shortage of snakes, bugs, octopuses, or other edible matter in east London had baffled the survivalist, thus compounding his predicament.

Rotisserie's only option would have been to buy a kebab or a chicken vindaloo, but the media star seemingly preferred to starve rather than brave the takeaways of the east end.

Rotisserie was reported to be in a stable condition in the hospital and planning an expedition to a favella in Rio De Janiero where conditions are reported to be less fraught.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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