Jean Charles de Menezes Inquest Latest

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 30 October 2008


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Well dodgy

The inquest into the death of Jean Charles de Menezes, the Brazilian electrician, on the Stockwell Tube in July 2005, has finally established that it would be extremely unwise for dodgy-looking people to travel around London with bags.

Mr de Menezes was followed from his home, onto a bus, off it, onto another, across the capital and down into the Tube station, before officers reporting to Cressida Dick blasted him into oblivion with the help of seven carefully-placed bullets in his cranium.

Police firearms officers had incorrectly identified Mr de Menezes as one of the failed 21 July 2005 London bombers, Hussain Osman. The thing these two men had in common, was that they both looked 'a bit dodgy'.

Both of them also regularly carried a bag, making them almost 'twins', and the inquest heard that the firearms officers had virtually no option but to fill the unfortunate sparky with lead.

One of the officers, identified only as C3PO, had been heard to shout:

"That's him! ... I think! ... Have it, you electrician!"

Approximately 0.19 seconds later, everything was over.

In London today, dodgy-looking people were angry at the developments. One particularly dodgy-looking bloke said:

"I look more dodgy than Mr de Menezes did. What if I'm next?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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