Written by Carl LaFong

Saturday, 25 October 2008

image for Rotherham Man Boils an Egg
Crackin'? It were eggcellent!

It has been reported that a Rotherham man, no doubt inspired by celebrity chef, Jamie Oliver, has astounded all his friends down't pit by successfully boiling an egg.

The egg, although a bit runny, was eaten by his very proud wife, Nora who said, "it were like it were boil't by a reet proper cook like. I were so impressed wi yit. My eggs is allers breckin' in't pan but this un were all in't one piece. Eee, I am proud o 'im. he'll be meckin' tea fot bairns next".

The man was unavailable for comment last night as he was in police custody following a "right set to at t'pub".

A colleague of his at the pit explained, "'e were gerrin a birra stick cos of 'is nancy be'aviour down't' pig'n t'shovel". 'e eventually snapped an' cuffed this little oik who asked 'im fot recipe for fairy cakes. I'd've smacked 'im too if I dint 'ave a plate in me 'ead".

A local cafe owner, furious at the efforts of TV Cooks with their southern "Jessie" ideas, said, "it's people like 'im what give us good northern folk a bad name by lettin' everyone see what we're really like on' t'telly. Me teckins are down 30% since he come here wi'yis fryin' pan an' 'is fancy food".
Jamie Oliver refused to comment on the story.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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