Written by victor nicholas

Saturday, 25 October 2008

image for Boris Johnson to Flat Pack Olympic Village
Johnson Rolls out Red Carpet for Olympic Village Design

London - Boris Johnson is starting to roll out how he plans to deliver the London Olympics under budget.

"The first step will be the Olympic Village. We plan on avoiding cost over-runs due to a projected labour shortage by designing the Village using flat-pack construction. We've all put these things together on the carpet with kids screaming in the background while downing a few Brittney's so we know it can be done."

Brilliantly Johnson says "Athletes will have to come two weeks early to assemble their flats, which can only be good for tourism, markets and such."

While critics say putting the athletes to work is unfair Johnson cheerily disagrees.

"We think this can be worked into their training regimen. It's definitely a win-win", declared the blond brain box.

"Our only concern is that we have enough hardware. We'll be starting off the Olympic officials two weeks early as well to double count screws, plastic finishing tabs and those clever little whatsits that turn the screws into those predrilled holes."

According to Johnson "Nothing will be wasted."

"Excess cardboard boxes and plastic wrap will be used as part of the Olympic Village to construct an authentic Barrio for South American football players on a muddy hillside, purpose built for the occasion, with money donated by Diego Maradona."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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