London - (Fecal Mess): JCB diggers were busy burrowing away in the scorching sunshine today among tonnes of slowly ripening disposable nappies, discarded cat litter droppings and remaindered Cliff Richard CDs at a Sellafield landfill site officially designated as the final resting place for ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair's remains.
Arrangements for the Opus Dei trollop's state funeral are now said to be complete after Commander Yates of the Yard's Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency finally pulled the plug on the demented little Bush-fellating tosser.
A sneak preview of the ceremonial predicts formal arraignment in the Old Bailey on treason charges followed by a public hanging in Trafalgar Square, collection of corpse by hired skip, a quick trip to Golders Green Crematorium followed by dumping of ashes (minus gold teeth, pacemaker and cranial alien implant) at the Sellafield site.
Carole Caplin is stark raving bonkers.
