British broadcasting has recently been tightening up on their standards for stripteasing; thus the establishment of the Ministry of Strip teasing.
In its first real test, the ministry this week has been confronted with a television advert showing a woman dressed in school uniform performing a striptease.
Ministry chairwoman, Anne Howe, described the performance as disgraceful: "I have known amateurs who could strip with more class and seductivity than the clod in this advert!"
Ministry consultant Alyssa Alps agreed with the chairwoman: "It is a sad day in the UK when a decent school girl striptease can't be pulled off. I long for the days when Montana Wildhack wore her Sts Peter and Paul's uniform and did the good ole donkey show. Now that was the England that ruled the waves!"