Welsh Conservative assembly member Alun Cairns resigned today, after saying that Italians are 'greasy wops' during a BBC Wales radio show.
A female interviewer had shown Mr Cairns a list of European flags, and admitted she'd written 'boring' beside the Swedish one, and 'nice food' next to the Italian one, but then Mr Cairns said that he'd scribbled 'greasy wops' over the Italian flag on his list.
Taking out this own list which was in his pocket, he read out all the comments he'd made about various nationalities. 'The Scots are drunken, violent alcoholics, and should all be transported to Canada', he said on air, 'the Irish are stupid, car-bombing potato eaters, and the English are arrogant, spineless parasites', and even his own country wasn't safe from his jibes. 'The Welsh are a bunch of hymn-singing, boring, inbred rugby players, you need a linguistics degree to even read a road sign, let alone pronounce the names on them.'
But Mr Cairns hadn't just written comments about the British Isles, he'd written all sorts of comments next to European flags. France is 'a nation of unwashed, hysterical egomaniacs', Germany a 'mass-murdering theme park for fascists and beer bellies', and Denmark 'probably the blandest place on Earth, it makes Surrey seem interesting.'
In a prepared statement, Mr Cairns said: 'I apologise for the inappropriate remarks, and for making jokes that millions of Britons make every day about people and nations, especially about each other. The media is obviously for 4 year-old children, and such disgraceful and witty remarks must be kept off the air, in case somebody bursts into tears in the House of Commons about it.'
Cherie Blair QC was looking into the situation, as obviously Mr Cairns's words were verging on a war crime, and she hoped she might get a wad of Legal Aid out of it, but her husband Antonio Blandairas said: 'Look chaps, the Italians own Rome, with His Holiness's cottage there, and so that makes Italy wonderful. I'm scared of the Scots and Irish, so I wouldn't dare laugh at them, especially as I'm Scottish myself, and I rather like French food. Though I can't stand Germans, they're a load of goosestepping Nazis who bombed my grannie's house in 1943. More tea, vicar?'
Ronald Reagan is 87.
