Sushi outlets throughout London are under threat as disgruntled City workers finally wake up to the fact that they are eating raw fish.
We spoke with one Londoner who said, 'It may be acceptable for Bear Grylls to eat the head off a dead fish but I'm banking analyst not a fucking survival export. I want my food cooked and preferably dead.'
The pretentious stakes were 'raised' when a large number of sushi outlets emerged throughout capital and as such, millions of Londoners would be seen eating raw fish with chop sticks wearing sun glasses on their head looking serious whilst having intense conversations and nodding enthusiastically whilst discussing BBC4 programmes.
These city workers were now deemed 'uber cool' as they attempted to achieve additional kudos points by eating their food (raw food that is)in an 'al fresco' manner to show other Londoners that whilst not of Eastern origins, they were flexible in their culinary tastes.
One city worker we spoke with who did not wish to be named for fear of reprisals said 'to be honest, all of the people in my department have sushi most days but they will not admit to not liking it. We all used to go to Greggs or Prêt but I found myself eating cold raw fish trying my hardest not to gag. I have now started to make excuses to my colleagues about not taking lunch with them such as I'm working, going to the bank or washing my hair'.
We had hoped to speak with survival expert, Bear Grylls but he was filming in a Brazilian rainforest.
