Not fat, just big Boned

Written by Norton Folgate

Friday, 2 May 2008

image for Not fat, just big Boned

From October, it will be an offence for shops and Supermarkets to sell confectionary that is displayed below 6 feet as the Government attempts to reduce the rising obesity figures, particularly in children.

Confectionery will soon be located at the same level as Adult magazines, traditionally referred to as 'the top shelf'.

This will mean obese individuals craving a Twix or Lion bar will be required to stretch, therefore burning some calories.

'Dr' Gillian McKeith, the poo specialist, said 'obese people generally have shorter and stubbier arms, by relocating fatty foods; this will deter many when they have the munchies.'

McDonalds are following the trend by introducing a 'Fat Food Queue' where the counter will be relocated on the first or lower floor forcing obese individuals to walk one flight of stairs.

It is hoped that by doing this, they will burn off some calories which as McKeith said 'is a f*cking start'. KFC are following suite, as are Burger King with Pizza Hut even considering banning obese people altogether as other diners find them repugnant.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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