Chocolate bars reach critical mass

Funny story written by Steddyeddy

Tuesday, 22 April 2008

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The humble branded sweet and chocolate bar, available from your local shop, thanks to a combination of monetary inflation and pure greed on the part of the manufacturer, has now reached critical mass to the extent that they are being sold as empty bags and wrappers.

While the price of bagged confectionery such as Revels, M&Ms, Malteesers and Minstrels, and chocolate bars such as Mars and Snickers have increased dramatically over the years, the package size has shrunk to the extent that the amount of packaging available no longer permits product to actually be contained within it.

A spokesman from independent chocolate bar manufacturer Cadmarsthorntonterry, and Vice President of the Association of Chocolate Manufacturers, the rather overweight Mr Willie Wonky, explained:

"We have a situation where, thanks to modern marketing, it is much more important that we get the message across rather than worry about product.

"Packaging needs to be vibrant, informative and representative of the product being sold. The fact that the size of the packaging is too small to actually include any physically is by the by, and this should not deter outlets in airports, on trains, in cinemas and at motorway stopovers from overcharging the public by at least 33 per cent.

"We also have a duty to overeaters, couch potatoes and dentists to ensure consumers remain as unhealthy and overweight as possible, so the larger chocolate bar and packeted sweets will continue to be sold over the counter without a prescription."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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