Haut de la Garenne: "It's the pits," cops say

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 16 April 2008

image for Haut de la Garenne: "It's the pits," cops say
More evidence of the key ingredients of a Moscow Mule

St Helier, Jersey - (Sordid Mess): Police excavating the Haut de la Garenne site have found a series of lime pits at the dormitory end of the former children's home.

"There must have been over twenty tons of limes dumped here at some stage" Supt Jim Bergerac of the island's police detective unit said today, "proving my earlier theory about an illicit drinking shebeen."

Police have continued digging up fields surrounding the site after distilling equipment and cocktail preparation paraphernalia was found in a nearby bricked-up shed.

"Our evidence points to a huge illicit liquor operation here maybe twenty, thirty years ago," Bergerac continued.

"Tons of limes were covertly smuggled in, more than the feckless distillers could possibly cope with.

"At some stage they must have got sick of all those constant Alabama Slammers, Daiquiris, Downhill Racers, Mai Tais, Mojitos, Moscow Mules, Shark Bites, Sixty-Nine Slings, Raspberry Tarts and Kamikaze Blues," Bergerac added, "because by the mid 1980s lime-juice based cocktails had completely gone out of fashion."

The excavation continues.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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