Jersey - (Putrid Mess): Forensic archaeologists probing the Haut de la Garenne house of horrors say a suspect drain under a basement 'cattle trough' sink "leads straight to sewers under 10 Drowning Street."
Excavations at the Jersey site have been temporarily halted over Easter in accordance with provisions of the 1998 Good Friday Agreement with the IRA.
Meanwhile in London's Pubic Records Orifice Jersey top cop Sgt Jim Bergerac is holed up for the entire holiday weekend, poring over a paper trail linking successive British prime monsters to an elaborate cover-up.
Among the hardest files to prise open are Harold Wilson's 1976 resignation honours 'Lav-ender List' which whitewashed ex-CIA director George Bush Senior's attempts to pour 100 tonnes of quick-set concrete down the Haut de la Garenne sewerage system.
Equally tricky are papers connected to Sir Anthony Eden's infamous tenure of 10 Drowning Street.
"It's not so much a connection to No 10's sewers that we've found," Bergerac's spokesman said today, "more like the shit that constitutes official records about Jersey's Nazi tunnels, Eden and Suez."
The Duke of Edinburgh is apoplectic.
