London - (Sordid Mess): "Butler Paul Burrell did it for me," Lord Justice Scott Baker said today after delivering his verdict on the tacky Princess Diana business.
"The British taxpayer has spent a fortune feather-bedding this feckless jumped-up opportunist sleazebag," His Lordship continued.
"Fifty grand it cost to have him posturing in the witness box," M'Lud spluttered, "that's about two hundred pounds per perjuring word.
"At those rates of pay who does he actually think he is? Mohammed Al Fayed?"
Scott Baker's adjudication was immediately seized by HM Revenue and Customs officials who hinted that in his entire Palace-leeching career Burrell has made more money than the Queen receives in a decade of Civil List hand-outs.
Meanwhile Florida FBI sources have confirmed that an extradition request for Burrell has been received from the UK on perjury, extortion and conspiracy grounds.
"No skin off our noses, no siree," was the printable part of their official comment.