More Russians To Die In London Soon

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 14 February 2008


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"Ah, those Russians!"

A senior ex-KGB defector residing in London has said billionaire tycoon Badri Patarkatsishvili was murdered, and that he expects more Russian exiles to die mysteriously in the capital soon.

Igor Brainiac, who left the Soviet Union for Britain in the 1980s, said in an interview yesterday that, as well as Alexander Litvinenko and Patarkatsishvili, many more Russian dissidents were high on 'Vladimir Putin's list' for extermination.

The two men murdered so far, were acquaintances of another enemy of Mr Putin, Boris Berezovsky, a former luxury car salesman now living in a fortified mansion in Surrey. He will probably be next.

Chelsea Football Club manager, Roman Abramovich, knew both the dead men, and Mr Berezovsky, but police have not yet said they want to interview him about the deaths. It may be, that he has nothing whatsoever to do with them.

Nikolai Glushov is another Russian looking nervously over his shoulder. He was responsible for the running of the shabby airline Aeroflot in the 1990s, and is still being sought by hundreds of disgruntled passengers.

Andriy Shevchenko, the Chelsea striker, will be axed if his current form doesn't improve, according to 'sources' at Stamford Bridge.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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