Sky News has announced that British Tennis Ace Andy Murray is likely to be out of the game for at least a month which means that he will miss the first Tennis Grand Slam of the season the Australian Open.
Andy is due to go into Glasgow Royal Infirmary to have a Personality Bypass Operation after his personality started to fail him over the Christmas Holiday Period.
Andy first realised that was something was seriously wrong when a faint smile suddenly appeared on his face when he opened his Mothers Christmas Present.
The problem was confirmed the following week at an Hogmanay Bash in Edinburgh.
When a gorgeous nubile blond East European Lady Tennis Player tried to approach Andy under the mistletoe he felt a slight grin.
Obviously fearing the worst he booked himself in with his Medical Advisor the following morning.
It would appear that Andy will require a transfusion to stop him smiling called S.M.B.S. otherwise known as Sad Miserable Bastard Syndrome. Translated into Scottish it means Dour pronounced as Doo-er.
Andy who is famous for throwing his toys out of the pram only last season offered to give TV Presenter Sue Barker a Glasgow Kiss when Sue criticised his game plan at Wimbledon. This Glaswegian term means a wee bump in the face for anyone not familiar with it.
Apparently he could be cured by natural means by watching his brother Jamie play as he constantly has a smile on his face although this could be put down to the fact he only usually plays mixed doubles often with gorgeous nubile blond East European Ladies.
