Elvis Sighted in Dubai

Funny story written by JAB

Sunday, 30 December 2007

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THE KING

Wapping, England -- Two iPHONE images (Sun Dec 30 12:10 pm) have been circulating the web, purportedly, showing Elvis and Benazir Bhutto at Apu's Quickie Mart in a Dubai Shopping Mall.

The first image, although fuzzy, looks to be the face of a woman glancing over a male's shoulder but partly obscured by the high collar and cape of the man whose arm she's holding. The man appears to be wearing sequined bell bottomed pants and blue suede shoes. The second one is completely blurred but a public address announcement in the background can be heard saying in Arabic "Elvis has left the building."

Leading "Elvis experts" say it would not be out of the ordinary for him to be in that part of the world. He has always had millions of fans in the Arab community, even, creating some tension with local rulers who resent some infidel being called the King. It's not unusual in the Souqs to see faux velvet prayer rugs with an image of Elvis on them or street vendors selling deep fried peanut-butter-and-banana sandwiches in the local bazaars.

One of the "Elvis experts", Amy Winehouse, said it probably was Elvis. According to Ms.Winehouse, when she was jamming with him two weeks ago, he said he was long overdue for a trip to the Middle East. She was equally certain that the woman was not Ms.Bhutto.

"Given the humongous amount of pork rinds Elvis eats, there is no way Benazir would tolerate him", Winehouse reasoned. "I would say without a doubt that it probably was Anna Nicole Smith, who I know he's had a couple of soft spots for." Then Ms.Winehouse dropped a bombshell stating she actually saw Ms.Bhutto, yesterday, on the Jubilee line holding hands with Sid Vicious. She said she wouldn't have given the couple any thought had the woman not been "wearing a hat as if she was on her way to Ascot and he in a bowler, quite unusual for December, I thought."

Before I could pursue it any further with Ms.Winehouse, she hurled on my expensive Italian shoes and then passed out. Last I heard, she was on her way to Norway, no doubt to see Elvis.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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