Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

image for Brown Plays Down Panic Fears As Discs Containing Information Of 'Everything On Earth' Go Missing
Don't panic! Don't panic!

The government has announced in the House of Commons this morning that sixteen more computer discs containing ALL INFORMATION ON ANYTHING have been lost. Another disc holding information on the whereabouts of the lost discs, has also been lost.

All the government's detailed records of the Nation's financial details, National Insurance numbers, work records, births, marriages, deaths, resident status, immigration logs, and sexual preferences along with the religious and political beliefs of each and every UK citizen, is missing, and could be expolited by criminal gangs and fraudsters.

Despite the bad news, Prime Minister Gordon Brown has said that there is no need for widespread panic, and any knee-jerk mass withdrawals of savings from bank accounts would be 'totally unnecessary'.

Speaking from outside his own bank, Mr Brown said:

"People should not panic. I'm the Prime Minister and I will take full responsibility for this. I will do the panicking."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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