Paul campaign claims media blackout

Funny story written by Tom Storey

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

The campaign office for Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul hammered national media for what they claimed has been a news "blackout" on the congressman from Texas.

When asked to comment, Ruppert Murdoch, owner of Newscorp and practically every newspaper and TV station in the world, indicated that he did not know who Ron Paul was and, as he was Australian, was also unsure of where Texas was. Murdoch quipped, "I thought Hillary was going to be the next president and if voters didn't like her, they could vote for Rudy. Honestly, aren't two choices enough for you people?"

Washington Post majority owner, Warren Buffett was shocked when asked of this supposed media black out. "Nobody can make millions of dollars in this country without me knowing about it. Now this Ron Paul, is he planning a stock offering for this Tea company?"

A Google search was done in an attempt to substantiate the Paul campaign's media black out claims and it came up with a host of stories on the record breaking fund raiser.

WKTL TV in Wickesburg, Missouri carries a mention on the "dining out" portion of their website under "Tea."

The Fort Worth Teachers Association mentioned it under the "Historic reenactments" section of their annual US history newsletter to be released next fall.

Radio Free Montana mentioned it on both their morning "Hunting for food" feature and their "Ice fishing for profit" expose after 11 PM the same day.

The $6 million plus fund raiser got a strong mention in industry journals also, with Organic Cat Food Quarterly featuring the successful event under "things to do in Boston in December."

The CEO of Gannett, parent of USA Today, when asked for comment on a potential media black out, said that he had been asked not to comment.

"these black outs are tough to call, I know you really want to talk about the blackout, but, in my experience these things just don't exist in this business."

In closing, it has been reported that numerous media pundits would love to report on Ron Paul, but the media blackout has prevented them from learning enough about the candidate to build him into their reporting schedules.

A major columnist who asked not to be named was quoted, "He raises more in a day than Huckabee has this year? So what? Huckabee's son has a criminal record...we need to sell newspapers here. Hillary's husband sleeps with all kinds of people, we need to print that stuff. The constitution of the United States doesn't have enough weight in our editorial meetings. Rights? Who cares. Lindsay Lohan is getting out of recovery on Tuesday we have people whom are paid a lot of money to get pictures of these stars in their underwear. Whoever this Ron Black..who? Oh! Ron Paul blackout is if it doesn't involve at least a police chase you're out of luck."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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