New England Boss named

Funny story written by Martin Gooseflesh

Friday, 23 November 2007

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Scamp: ready to face the challenges.

English football is reeling today After the sacking of head coach Steve McClaren, following the England team's woeful performance, failing to qualify for Euro 2008.

In charge for only 18 games, the 46 year old was given the push this morning along with his assistant, former England boss Terry Venables.

McClaren who notably failed to fall on his sword after Wednesday's 3-2 defeat at home to Croatia was forced to leave in disgrace with only a paltry £2.5 million payoff to call his own.

However, in a shock announcement last night from it's headquarters at Soho Square, FA boss Brian Barwick revealed that the new manager of England has already been chosen.

Bookies favourite Jose Mourinho is out of the picture as is any other name you may think of; instead the new England boss is to be a Labrador puppy called Scamp.

Mr. Barwick explained the strange choice by saying:

" It's time to call a spade a spade and admit that the England team are c**p. It would make no difference who was in charge, we couldn't beat a team of circus clowns in full costume. Therefore it was felt that the best thing to do was to hire Scamp.

"This way when we loose a game the camera can show a big close up of Scamp looking all cute and puppyish. This we feel will make the whole country go 'Awww' and forget all about how rubbish the team have been."

Scamp could start in the job as early as next week but was keeping quiet, his attention having been taken by a roll of toilet paper on the floor.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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