Government decides to arm British troops in Iraq

Funny story written by Noshing Mink

Thursday, 22 November 2007

image for Government decides to arm British troops in Iraq
British soldiers are issued with real bullets, finally.

The Government has finally decided to arm British soldiers in Iraq. The decision, announced by the Armed Forces Minister, has been welcomed by the armed forces, who, until now, had been issued with spud guns and water pistols.

However, many politicians are asking why the Government didn't act sooner and are suggesting that if they had, then many British lives could have been saved. Warrant Officer Jones from Wales told our reporter:

"Last week, my unit was sent to take out a group of insurgents holed up in a house in Southern Iraq. When we got there, we saw that they had machine guns, while my boys only had toy swords issued by the Government. Fortunately, one of the insurgents was a suicide bomber and he did our job for us. But I know many mates who weren't so lucky."

A Captain with the Special Air Services said:

"We were given toy guns and told to destroy a bomb making factory at a secret location in Iraq. We swung through the glass windows with our weapons drawn and made the da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da rapid fire sound. Thankfully, the terrorists thought we were firing real guns and fell down, thinking they'd been shot."

Toys R Us, whose sales of plastic children's battle weapons have soared since British troops were deployed to the Gulf, have expressed concern at the Minister's decision, saying that the benefits of non-lethal weapons should not be scoffed at.

Meanwhile, a toy shop in America that sells real guns to children, has offered to supply the British Army with state of the art U.S. playground weapons.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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