Government acts on Type 2 Diabetes

Written by Mark James

Saturday, 17 November 2007

image for Government acts on Type 2 Diabetes
"Yo, fatties! Stop it!" says PM Brown

After months of reports of the failing health of the nation, temporary Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, has announced that he will personally take charge of the new health strategy.

As the country's children become increasingly fat, health professionals have been shocked by the rise in type 2 diabetes.

Gordon Brown, launching the National Health Review, at a top London kebab van yesterday, said, "We must face up to the reality of the situation. Our nation's children are facing a health time bomb and we must act.

"The rise of type 2 diabetes, caused by obesity in our children, shows our collective failure.

"Today, I can announce a further £1.2 million to fund a campaign to reduce the level of type 2 diabetes. In addition, I want to see Britain's children lead the world in this area. Therefore, I am also announcing £1.5 million to fund cross-sector work to increase levels of type 1 diabetes and also to institute a new, gold standard of type 1 star diabetes for high achievers".

Not everyone has welcomed the move, however. Sir Ian Blair, head of Metropolitan Police, issued a statement yesterday in which he pointed out that "any move to make people thinner will make it much harder for us to shoot them - we prefer wide targets". Sir Ian then confirmed that he would not resign over the comments as he polished his Uzi sub-machine gun.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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