Insects Contribute DNA to Human Evolution

Tuesday, 28 August 2007

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Don't eat me - I'm a superior being!

Murphy, North Carolina (IP) - University of Murphy's Law scientists reported an astounding discovery to the rest of the world this morning. They claim that insects contribute DNA to human evolution via saliva donations. The "donations" take place when cockroaches nibble on a piece of food left out on the counter over night and thus leave a small deposit of their own saliva and other body fluids on the food.

Another method is when roaches crawl in and out of a person's mouth while they sleep with their mouth open. This is said to occur to everyone at least 88 times during their life times. We all will accidentally swallow a number of flies and gnats during our life times.

Another source of the insect DNA is the insects present in catsup which has more insects in it than any other food. Mostly small worms that bore holes in tomatoes that then get processed into catsup. "You do not really think there is any way to remove them do you?" asked the scientist who could see wishful doubt obviously present in my facial expression as he spoke.

The aggregate result of this process is that eventually humans will take on features current in insects such as antennae and multiple limbs and larger eyes. The reverse is true for insects and they will increasingly exhibit such human qualities as rudeness, impatience, curly hair, moustaches, and hypochondria.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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