Campbell: Lib Dem's Brie Bonanza

Funny story written by parveen liddy

Tuesday, 18 September 2007

image for Campbell: Lib Dem's Brie Bonanza
Campbell..parmesan probe plan

British Liberal Democrat leader Sir Ming Campbell has called on his party to back a new British space programme after scientists discovered the moon is made of green cheese.

Sir Ming said open cast cheese mining on the surface of the moon could potentially solve the world's hunger problems and provide jobs for thousands of colliers still lying around drunk on the streets of Merthyr Tydfil.

He said: 'We accept there will be difficulties in this programme. If the cheese is a runny Camembert it will be much more difficult to harvest and store than a good firm English cheddar which could be cut up into blocks and carted away in a space lorry.'

Sir Ming added: 'British people from all walks of life would jump at the chance to explore the cheesey asteroid. I have already had an application from a Mr Wallace and a Mr Gromit.'

But the policy was described as 'patently ridiculous' by Prime Minister Gordon Brown.

'Has he not considered the dangers a 20 tonne spacecraft splashing down in a Dairylea lake?' the prime minister scoffed.

'The astronauts are also likely to face severe dangers in the shape of giant mice which prowl the surface of the moon.'

Sir Ming's cheese theory is based on the work of Dr Hugh Green-Pettigrew, who is noted for his controversial theories.

In a bizarre thesis he recently suggested that an increase in global temperature was caused by man-made carbon dioxide.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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