In recent separate incidents across the planet, people have been attacked by ordinary packets of marshmallows they innocently bought in local supermarkets and took home to eat.
The marshmallows, in reality evil space beings that have lain in wait sometimes for months or years in cellophane packaging on supermarket shelves, leap out of the packaging and cover the mouth and noses of the victims, smothering them to death. It would appear to be a co-ordinated attack, many thousands dying across the globe.
Fortunately the evil scheme was stopped in time by alert shop staff everywhere stamping on the packs of marshmallows as the creatures appear to be to feeble to break out of their cellophane restraints without human assistance.
A top government spokesperson said "We have no idea who is behind these attacks, it could be an evil mastermind or a great big pulsating marshmallow brain from outer space."
Asked for his comments a leading scientist said between mouthfuls of toasted marshmallow " I have no idea where they came from. But they sure are tasty stuck on a toasting fork and held over an open fire until grilled."
