Brazen Tittywobbling Women Rejoice At News Of Breastfeeding Bill

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 12 June 2007


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Brazen Tittywobbling Women Rejoice At News Of Breastfeeding Bill
Milk anybody?

Women who prefer to breastfeed their babies and young children will soon be able to do so in public, after the Government passed a new bill yesterday.

The Public Breastfeeding Bill 2007 was made law after ministers returned a 486-1 vote in favour of the change.

Many women say feeding their children breast milk gives them the perfect start in life, but this can also cause embarrassment to members of the public if carried out, for instance, in the street, parks, restaurants or on public transport. Now, they will be free to 'pull out the tit' anywhere, no matter how embarrassing this proves for nervous onlookers.

It's good news for women's groups who have long campaigned for a lttle bit more 'titty freedom', and could be the thin end of the wedge as far as mammaric exposure goes.

Janet Brazen, of the breastfeeding group Titsbest, said:

"This is great news for mothers and children. I can't wait to get me oomlaaters out."

And Wendy Waytoolong, of Bristol, who still suckles her 15-year-old son Tarquin twice a day, told TheSpoof:

"My son won't go to school until he's had his fill. His mates think he's daft, but you can't beat your Mum's goodness in a morning!"

But already there has been some opposition from men.

Dan Prude, 57, said:

"Some women are just not easy on the eye, and this new bill could have enormous ramifications for men like me who find long sagging breasts unpleasant."

The new ruling, although encouraging women to 'express themselves' with their children, does not extend as far as feeding their husbands or boyfriends in public, although it's thought that this will form the basis of an extension of the bill some time next year.

Labour's John Prescott, a bit of a tit himself, said:

"This bill is just what leering men like myself have been hoping for. Now we won't have to sneak a crafty look from behind our newspapers or damage our eyesight peeking sideways. I sometimes get an enormous ramification meself. It'll be one Almighty Titfest."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more