American Idol Judge Paula Abdul Discovers Her Special Purpose

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Thursday, 31 May 2007

image for American Idol Judge Paula Abdul Discovers Her Special Purpose
Always leave them with a smile!

Paula Abdul announced that she has finally discovered her "Special Purpose" in life. In a statement reminescent of Steve Martin's character in "The Jerk", she revealed what the purpose was today in a Hollywood interview.

"I knew that since I was a little girl, that I had this profound way of touching people....some of them are guys I pick up after American Idol auditions, others are players I met back when I was a Laker Girl. There are even more that I have met back when I was a singer and dancer. When it comes to my purpose, I am....an entire package of a great performer."

"If I appear exhausted on television, it's because of all of the sleepless nights just making people happy."

"Wilt Chamberlien once bragged about the number of people he made happy and satisfied. I think that I'm in the same class as he was when it comes to putting smiles on faces!"

When asked if they had ever experienced her "special purpose." fellow Idol judges Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson had these comments. Said Cowell, "Well, she's not really that bad at it. It isn't anything karaoke, but it's not bloody awful either. I think she's actually got talent. I frankly enjoyed myself."

Jackson added, "Yo, Yo, Yo, I think I had a hot one tonight!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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