Minority Report Comes to UK - Report "Potentially Violent People"

Funny story written by carina-eta

Monday, 21 May 2007

image for Minority Report Comes to UK - Report "Potentially Violent People"
Potential criminal Ada Smith who once slaughtered a spider

In a situation shockingly familiar to viewers of the film Minority Report, leaked Home Office plans show the Government wants council staff, charity workers and doctors to become informers, tipping police off about people who might commit a violent crime.

The government is urging anyone who has a grudge against a work colleague, a neighbour or former lover to draw up a dossier on that person's potential for committing a violent crime. They will then be arrested and assessed by a crack team of Government underdogs.

Danger signs shown by potential criminals could apparently include a tendency to leave the toilet seat up, a history of parking their car in front of your property, smoking, obesity and irregular facial features.

Government workers who deal with individuals fitting these criteria would be obliged to report their observations to police.

In line with the Governments determination to bring in identity cards, potentially violent criminals who have not yet committed a crime will have a green spot marked on their identity card. (Not to be confused with the Debenhams green spot sales).

Potential criminals who do not commit a crime will be decreed as more dangerous as they are " potential criminals with very strong willpower" and will have a red spot.

The Government has also recruited top UK psychic Derek Acorah to assist with the programme. Derek is of course famous for his ability to contact dead Victorians named Donna, Wendy and Pamela whilst being possessed by a dead red Indian named Dave.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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