MySpace Bans Ron Paul

Funny story written by Warren Redlich

Saturday, 19 May 2007

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MySpace Bans Ron Paul for Smiling Too Much

MySpace today banned Ron Paul from participating in the online service. New owner Rupert Murdoch said that Paul was bad for democracy. "Once people hear what he has to say, they like him," noted Murdoch, "and we can't have people making decisions like that."

Murdoch's media empire is known for reporting only on superficialities, and rarely gets into any substantive discussions or reporting. While this has been a common complaint of all mainstream media, critics say Paul has taken this to a new level with his Fox News and newspapers.

Many agreed with the MySpace decision, however. Fellow Republican candidate Rudy Giuliani had attacked Paul at a recent debate for offering an extremely absurd explanation for why September 11th had happened. He supported the MySpace decision, saying that "we serious candidates shouldn't have to be bothered with annoying intellectuals like that weird guy from Texas." President Bush agreed with Giuliani, "especially about those intellectualists."

Famed pundit Stephen Colbert chimed in to support the MySpace ban on Paul, saying that Paul's message "lacks truthiness." Meanwhile, Pat Buchanan, who has made a number of positive comments about Paul's candidacy in recent weeks refused to be interviewed about the MySpace move, saying "Murdoch scares me. I'm not going to mess with him. Don't quote me on this either!"

Hundreds of MySpace users who support Congressman Paul's campaign complained about the decision, but their accounts were mysteriously deleted. A spokesman for the company had no comment about that.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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