London, May 1 - The British Prime Minister today tried to evince renewed interest about himself within the media by announcing that he may be retiring next month. The much-repeated proclamation was made this time in front of the servants' entry to the Buckingham Palace.
Blair, who has come in for severe criticism since it became evident that he never uses birth-control or any other family-planning measures, has of late made it a point to repeat himself over and over again in order to be seen as a responsible statesman. Despite the various sobriquets that are attributed to him, such as being the US President's secret lover, Cherie being the pants-wearer and the official residence being renamed 1600 Drowning Street, the British PM has always had the support of his counterpart across the Atlantic.
"It pleases me to inform you that I am still undecided about my fate. Unfortunately, Cherie wants me to become a barber again, but Georgie wants me to stay," said the balding leader of the United Kingdom. "I've come to ask Queen Mommie's opinion, but they tell me she still hasn't gotten over Charlie marrying that Bowels. I want to know if they've lied on that too."
The Labouring Party, which has for a long time tried to replace Mr.Blair with his poodle Mr.Bare, had no comment other than a tired shrug of their collective shoulders. Their sigh stopped traffic on the London Bridge and created scares of a resurrected wailing banshee.
The Opposition party chief Ms. Nodif Ferent was scathing in her criticism of her former boyfriend. "Blair's always doing this. He does not want to retire, he does not know what to do unless someone tells him clearly. I have sources within the MI5 who tell me that he takes Washington's permission even to pass a <expletive deleted>."
Meanwhile, as the day draws closer for Blair to finally set foot in Iraq for the first time, sources within the PM's office informed this reporter that Blair will surely retire from all sorts of politics before he makes that suicidal visit. They were adamant that Bush had nothing to do with it.
When contacted, George Bush Jr., playing in his sandbox on the West Wing, said, "Blair? Blair who?" - Dissociated Press.