BBC Denies Fame Academy Vote-Rigging Charge

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 16 March 2007

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Back to the scrapheap for Barry

A new row erupted last night at the BBC when Shaun Williamson, aka Barry Evans, was incorrectly voted out of the Fame Academy competition.

The studio audience gasped as Barry was told he had been expelled. and, as he broke down in tears, there were shrieks and a melee, and a gun was fired.

There was pandemonium, and police were called to restore order. They did so after thirty minutes, having arrested a 74-year-old grandmother, and six of the previously-expelled contestants, including Tranmere hooligan Ray Stubbs.

Barry was still distraught later when interviewed by glamourless host Claudia Winklepicker. He accused the BBC of rigging the voting system against him, when he said:

"Everyone knows Para (Talmer-Pomkinson) can't sing. I was told I was going to win this competition, and the BBC has gone back on its word."

Earlier in the evening, witnesses now say, Barry seemed to have got wind of what was coming, and began pacing the backstage area, Hitler-like, with his hands clasped firmly behind his back. There were whoops of delight when he ditched his planned song, "Wanking In Memphus", and crashed headlong into his own startling rendition of the Sex Pistols "Friggin' In The Riggin'", although this was not well-received by the show's judges.

The BBC, itself, has denied any wrongdoing. It says the phone voting system was more-or-less fair, and that no deal was ever made with Barry, with a view to letting him win and resurrecting his flagging acting career.

"The suggestion that there could have been any attempt, on our part, to influence the outcome of the competition is, frankly, ridiculous", said Peter Blue, of Children's BBC.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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