Although it is thirty years since he went to school, local bod Gavin Williamson is disappointed that he returned from France without using any of the phrases he knew when he was a teenager.
'Of course, I went thinking I could parlay la francais with the locals, but imagine my shock when I was told that the Library shut during the lockdown and hasn't re-opened, and they have not had a discotheque there since 1989. Also, do you know how expensive a kilo of Apples is these days?'
It could have been worse though, Gavin thought that his O-level in woodwork was enough to allow him to finish the work on his house. The neighbours are still laughing about that.
'Yes l'idiot has done it again' laughed Brian Asshat on Twitter
