Man who has not bought any clothes in twelve years now worried about Burton's shutting down

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Monday, 30 November 2020

image for Man who has not bought any clothes in twelve years now worried about Burton's shutting down
Your average Burton Menswear shopper, seen in his natural habitat.

Man about town Gary Johnson, who still wears the same four jumpers throughout the year, has six pairs of jeans, with 'years of wear left in them yet', is worried about the possible closure of Burton Menswear, even he hasn't thought about refreshing his wardrobe since 2008.

Gary told us: 'Yes, it is a bit weird. I haven't updated my wardrobe for years, and yet the potential closure of Burton's Menswear is a bitter pill to swallow.'

Lorraine, Gary's wife, said: 'I always felt that that May 17th 2008 was a landmark date, but for all of the wrong reasons. I mean, I love Gary, but his jumpers are starting to get on my nerves, and they smell. I wish he would set foot in a clothes shop again, but I fear that he won't be doing that for a while now, as only Debenhams and Marks and Spencer sell suitable clothes for him.'

Lorraine has secretly been replacing his underwear for years.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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