Minister for Spiffing Wheezes, Annie Thingwecangetawaywith, has applauded the heartwarming response from the public to her latest initiative (spiffing wheeze).
“The Secretary of State convened a special meeting of the Committee for Cylindrical Container Evacuation (scraping the bottom of the barrel), and we came up with the idea of consulting the public, even the desperately poor ones without directorships, as to what they would advise government ministers to re-train as, to show we’re all in this together.
“So many of the poor have lost their jobs, and have to re-train. I suppose, once the great houses had to close and we had to give notice to the servants, and then people started employing foreign au pairs. Well, it was all downhill from there.
“But the response from the public has been unanimous. It appears they would all like Her Majesty’s government to re-train for events organising in distilleries and similar venues!”
The original responses, we can reveal, were in somewhat more robust language. One correspondent wrote, “Perhaps one of them might be able to organise a piss-up in a brewery.”