(NOT EDITED) Hartlepool, UK, is a town parked on the North Sea coast which nobody has ever heard of apart from 'Hartlepool-ians'. However, last night the global tabloid press sent their reporters there, with drones, because it was reported a massive tsunami was about to hit the seaside town!
Hartlepool-ians were doing what they normally do on a Friday evening, getting totally 'wasted' in local pubs and bars, two of them! Young females wearing mega-high stiletto's, low-cut tight fitting tops revealing everything a man desires, and mini-skirts showing of their knickers purchased in the afternoon at Primark. Local lads were also boozing, dressed to kill and, enjoying the views, not the ones out at sea!
Suddenly, someone screamed, "Tsunami!"
The whole town burst into a stampede! Young girls, quite wobbly, running for their lives, lads following still enjoying the views from the rear, and within an hour the whole place was deserted apart form one piss-artist sitting on a pub bench slurping down the left-overs!
Tabloid drones were now hovering above the town getting shots of the panic below. The Daily Star's drone was particularly interested in boobs flapping left and right as young busty females run for their lives, carrying a pint or two, and the odd glass of cheap Chardonnay!
Reporters and police clocked the piss-artist sitting nonchalantly enjoying leftover bevvies. They hustled around him as the police ordered him to leave immediately because a tsunami was rapidly approaching!
"Fuck off, BURP, I'm having a great time, BURP, and what for a tsunami?"
"The one about to hit Hartlepool!"
"Oh that one! That was me, pissed as a newt, BURP, I just screamed, 'TSUNAMI', and they all run for it, BURP! Sorry officer I forgot to scream, BOJO'S Covid 19 tsunami is hitting the UK, but it worked anyway because I got so much free booze, it's like f'ing Christmas, BURP!"
The world is in such a panic even a UK piss-artist can start a stampede or lockdown by using the words; SPIKE, WAVE, TSUNAMI, BURP!