Acorah Summons Up Vampire Bint - Yvette Fielding Goes Over To The Other Side

Written by Duff

Monday, 12 February 2007

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!I could muder for a pint of blood" Yvette Fielding tells The Spoof

Top TV psychic Derek Acorah, the only spook-hunter whose name rhymes with a tasty Indian starter, is bricking it today after his act went all Pete Tong last night.

George Knobbler who was at the show takes up the story:

"Well Derek had 'keyed into' a spirit on the other side and it was all going quite nicely. The spirit, a bride of Dracula, was telling us all what it was like living with the Prince of Darkness when all of a sudden perky former Blue Peter presenter, Yvette Fielding, started coming over all funny like.

Next thing there was a terrible blood-curdling scream and Yvette transmogrified into some mad vampire bird. She went totally bonkers and tried to take a lump out of Del. He told the audience, 'ladies and gentlemen, run like fuck! I haven't a clue what's happened here', and he legged it big style double quick"

Father Finbar O' Nicechap told us:

"Heaven knows what Mr Acorah has unleashed on the world and I don't know if Yvette will ever return to be by his side on his popular UK TV show"

Acorah told us:

"Don't worry! I've put an advert in The Stage for a new assistant and my management are talking to Shilpa Shetty's people"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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