Top TV psychic Derek Acorah, the only spook-hunter whose name rhymes with a tasty Indian starter, is bricking it today after his act went all Pete Tong last night.
George Knobbler who was at the show takes up the story:
"Well Derek had 'keyed into' a spirit on the other side and it was all going quite nicely. The spirit, a bride of Dracula, was telling us all what it was like living with the Prince of Darkness when all of a sudden perky former Blue Peter presenter, Yvette Fielding, started coming over all funny like.
Next thing there was a terrible blood-curdling scream and Yvette transmogrified into some mad vampire bird. She went totally bonkers and tried to take a lump out of Del. He told the audience, 'ladies and gentlemen, run like fuck! I haven't a clue what's happened here', and he legged it big style double quick"
Father Finbar O' Nicechap told us:
"Heaven knows what Mr Acorah has unleashed on the world and I don't know if Yvette will ever return to be by his side on his popular UK TV show"
Acorah told us:
"Don't worry! I've put an advert in The Stage for a new assistant and my management are talking to Shilpa Shetty's people"