Millions of people struggle to find enough food to feed themselves, particularly in the Third World. Philanthropist Geoff Tool believes he knows the answer.
"When I heard about how much starvation still exists in the world, I was saddened," he said. "But then I asked if the average African has ever heard of brunch. I was shocked to learn that most of them have not."
Tool launched a new charity called Global Brunch Awareness, which aims to solve global hunger through a comprehensive programme of brunch education in poor countries.
Brunch was invented in 1964 by two gay men in New York. It is a portmanteau of "brown lunch", because it was the time that the two would meet up for a snack and some sodomy. Soon, the idea caught on. Eventually, heterosexual people began to join in, but their brunch did not include the bum sex, giving us the aimless, time-indeterminate meal we know today.
TheSpoof interviewed diners in a cafe, at 11am, to ask what they knew about the origins of brunch. The answers were nothing if not revealing.
"Every time I have brunch, I feel it's lacking something," said retired tape measure salesman, Gary Baldy. "It needs alcohol, or I suppose a bit of arsing would liven it up." He pointed to the remains of his fry-up meal he had eaten. "I mean, I'd call this a late breakfast, not a brunch."
Tool raged at the suggestion. "Brunch is not the same as a late breakfast," he yelled. "It's a whole different meal. This is why we need Global Brunch Awareness! Not just in Africa, but for the brunchophobic plebs in this country!"