Over-hyped charity and equal equalities mad charity Kids Deserve It! was today embroiled in a see it a mile-off scandal that, after seeing it's Chief Exec, Manmilla DahdahdahdahdahdahdahdahBatmaaaan, ousted in an 'apparent' financial related issue a convenient time back (weeks we think) thereby all of a sudden escaping the spotlight of a physical abuse expose against the vulnerable children it was supposedly established 'to protect and support'.
Former TV perv Balan Bentob, amazingly and coincidentally of course the Chairman of trustees is reported to say from the charity's Dolphin Square 'kinda of a head office with close political links': "What...oh FFS, not another revelation...where the hell are we going to procure more vulnerable young of the society....errrrm...to of course help in 'every way we can'..."
A lawyer dressed in a shell suit draped in god awful jewellery then ushered him away to a waiting member of the cabinet's blacked-out window car.
Mrs. Manmilla DahdahdahdahdahdahdahdahBatmaaaan is already positioned to take up a 'clinical' role at the charity which will undoubtedly enable her to ensure all the truth, objective fact and evidence will be made available to the Sexual Offences, Exploitation and Child Abuse Command and in no way will obfuscate anything whatsoever and that confirmation will of course be received she was in no way guilty of any financial impropriety...your honour.
Many voices of many children and now adults of the system were available but mysteriously not able to comment - the Barry Blitter and Bolf Barris society for the protection of cruelty was however able to confirm that they are quite comfortable and not really feeling the impact of any pain or suffering that may have been caused.
A government spokesman issued a statement saying: "...we take these allegations extremely seriously, everything will be done to ensure that those affected are protected and fully shielded from any further affects of this terrible situation arising...oh, you mean the kids....erm.....what's that over there...QUICK...LOOK!!!!" Before running back in to Whitehall.
