London - (Rotters): The Provisional Head of the Hellfire Club and Pretender to the Mountbatten Throne has admitted stockpiling nuclear and explosive chemicals for an anticipated civil war in Britain.
Charles Von Battenburg told the press today that the "political and financial condition of the country" would lead to civil war just as long as he could get his hands on enough dosh from Saddam's ill-fated UN Oil-for-Fraud programme.
And backed up by the wizard wheeze of ennobling former BNP and IRA chumps into the House of Lords he was able to convince UK Prime Mobster Tony Blair that "a few million quid in dodgy election loans" would see him alright at the polls in May 2005.
Half of the amassed weapons stockpile was stored at his Highgrove home, and the remainder was split 50/50 into storage facilities under the Saudi Embassy in central London and in the US Ambassador's Regent's Park residence.
Speaking at a BNP Friends Reuinted dinner last night Charles admited he knew that when Elizabeth Windsor finally pops her clogs he stands absolutely no chance whatsoever of evading capture and treason charges after a lifetime's career of impersonating the rightful heir to the Throne.
"But blackmail always worked for my Blackshirt relatives in the 1930s and 40s and I see no reason to change family policy today."
Camilla is 59.
