FARGO, North Dakota – An unemployed pharmacist was arrested, earlier today, after he tried to break into a First Pioneer Bank ATM machine using a hand grenade.
Dr. Abner P. Hogwood, who received second-degree injuries, was asked by police why in the hell he would use a hand grenade to break into an ATM.
He answered that he had intended to use a garden shovel, but he forgot that he had lent it to his neighbor last month.
The doctor said that the only items he had in his truck were a Jack-in-the-Box styrofoam drinking cup, a bowling ball, a pair of government issued handcuffs, and a commemorative Vietnam War hand grenade.
He told the arresting officers that he soon realized that maybe he should have gone with the bowling ball instead.