A Man is Injured Trying to Break Into an ATM with a Hand Grenade

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 13 June 2020

image for A Man is Injured Trying to Break Into an ATM with a Hand Grenade
This is the ATM that Dr. Hogwood blew all to hell with a hand grenade. (Photo courtesy of The First Pioneer Bank.)

FARGO, North Dakota – An unemployed pharmacist was arrested, earlier today, after he tried to break into a First Pioneer Bank ATM machine using a hand grenade.

Dr. Abner P. Hogwood, who received second-degree injuries, was asked by police why in the hell he would use a hand grenade to break into an ATM.

He answered that he had intended to use a garden shovel, but he forgot that he had lent it to his neighbor last month.

The doctor said that the only items he had in his truck were a Jack-in-the-Box styrofoam drinking cup, a bowling ball, a pair of government issued handcuffs, and a commemorative Vietnam War hand grenade.

He told the arresting officers that he soon realized that maybe he should have gone with the bowling ball instead.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more