A Man is Injured Trying to Break Into an ATM with a Hand Grenade

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 13 June 2020

image for A Man is Injured Trying to Break Into an ATM with a Hand Grenade
This is the ATM that Dr. Hogwood blew all to hell with a hand grenade. (Photo courtesy of The First Pioneer Bank.)

FARGO, North Dakota – An unemployed pharmacist was arrested, earlier today, after he tried to break into a First Pioneer Bank ATM machine using a hand grenade.

Dr. Abner P. Hogwood, who received second-degree injuries, was asked by police why in the hell he would use a hand grenade to break into an ATM.

He answered that he had intended to use a garden shovel, but he forgot that he had lent it to his neighbor last month.

The doctor said that the only items he had in his truck were a Jack-in-the-Box styrofoam drinking cup, a bowling ball, a pair of government issued handcuffs, and a commemorative Vietnam War hand grenade.

He told the arresting officers that he soon realized that maybe he should have gone with the bowling ball instead.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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