Chutney on the Fritz's foremost bachelor Brian Asshat still can't play the Banjo, despite owning one for nearly forty years and having a lot of time to spend learning during the lockdown.
The four-string tenor model that Brian owns has been in his loft for forty years, and Brian still has dreams of playing it.
The ladies man told us 'I bought it back in 1977, thinking that it would make me seem raucous amongst the stamp collecting gang I was a part of, but then people told me that it sometimes hurt the hands, and other people's ear, so I decided to not take things any further'.
