Care Home Owner Does Rounds Of Bedrooms Before Breakfast Checking For ' Dead Uns'

Funny story written by Dewani Unhatched

Sunday, 26 April 2020

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No Country For Old People

Care home owner, John 'Greedy Bastard' Mullett, has altered his morning routine due to the COVID-19 virus, and now does a quick sweep of bedrooms BEFORE breakfast checking for residents who may have passed away during the night.

“The first thing I do is switch the lights on and check that the occupant of the room is breathing. If not, then I let the cook know that she can do one less plate of bacon and eggs, a bowl of cereal or whatever."

Mullett's new routine is showing signs that his new approach is working well.

"We save on average twenty quid a day on food bills by not making breakfast for the dead 'uns. Before we were making bowls of Cornflakes, Weetabix, boiled eggs, and a shit load of toast that was just going to waste. It's my way of giving back, you know? It's the least I can do."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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